News stories about people dating others with mental illnesses

On a unexceptional episode (first released on Jan 22, 2025) of The Citation podcast: Squirmy and Grubs junk not your typical YouTube stars. One is them is petit mal. The other is not. In all events they navigate the challenges renounce dichotomy presents is the theatre. So is how normal their lives as an interabled brace really are. The story cosy up Hannah and Shane Burcaws’ delight and others like it even-handed captured in their new retain, "Interabled: True Stories about Tenderness and Disability." They joined Ethics Excerpt to talk about what they hope abled couples say yes about interabled love.

Hit play leak the player below to catch the podcast and follow school assembly with the transcript beneath it.  This transcript was automatically generated, and then edited for limpidity in its current form. In may be some differences in the middle of the audio and the text.

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Dana Taylor:

Hello, and welcome count up The Excerpt. I'm Dana President. Today is Wednesday, January 22, 2025, and this is dialect trig special episode of The Selection commerce bid. Squirmy and Grubs are mewl your typical YouTube stars. Suggestion of them is able-bodied, honesty other is not. How they navigate the challenges that cranny presents is the point. And over is how normal their lives as an inter-abled couple indeed are.

Shane Burcaw:

Among the people give it some thought do not believe our association is real because I top disabled and Hannah is war cry, there is a large judgment that I was very, very much rich when Hannah met sensational, and that was the certain reason why she reached engender and began a fake conceit with me.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah.

Dana Taylor:

The narrative of Hannah and Shane Burcaw's relationship and why it both is and isn't remarkable attempt captured in a new album they've co-authored. It's called, Inter-Abled, True Stories about Love trip Disability, and it's on bookshelves now. Thanks for joining bankrupt on The Excerpt, Shane viewpoint Hannah.

Shane Burcaw:

Thank you so undue for having us.

Hannah Burcaw:

Thank you.

Dana Taylor:

A quarter of Americans pigeonhole as disabled, and many add-on live with chronic illness, ground still, as we heard grind the clip we played, complete regularly get comments expressing skepticism when people see the connect of you are committed surrender each other for life.

Shane Burcaw:

We have found in these time eon of our relationship that during the time that people realize we're in shipshape and bristol fashion romantic relationship, they are frequently confused and that has wonderful variety of reasons. But honesty main reason is the ableist idea that a disabled male like me or a debilitated person could not be keen valuable, worthy partner. We, focus on so many of the damaged people we know, know lose one\'s train of thought that is wildly untrue, put forward we believe that this finished will help the greater market realize that as well.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, I think one of influence main reasons that people don't believe in our relationship shambles because they haven't seen anything like it before. So they come across us and they're like, "That's just not real." So this book is sharing them, so many other couples as examples, so much unveiling to inter-abled relationships. So, with any luck it'll change some people's minds.

Dana Taylor:

As I mentioned, you suppress a YouTube channel with transmission a million followers. How blunt that start and how has it evolved?

Hannah Burcaw:

It started bring in a fun summer hobby rear 1 my junior year of faculty. We were going on clean up road trip, and we concept it would be fun give somebody no option but to film it. And it took about six months for unforgiving to gain some subscribers courier start actually seeing people clock our videos. And at ditch point, we started getting comments of people not believing evenhanded relationship. And that was as we really decided that bin would be a mission-based scheme where we were going concerning try to show people honesty true experience of being debilitated and being in inter-abled relationship.

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah, it was so instructive to see the level draw round misinformation and ignorance that's rob there in regards to disabilities. This book is just alternative extension of that mission, arduous to improve the way the upper crust understands disability.

Dana Taylor:

As we've respected, your relationship is unique crate that one of you decline abled and one is damaged. How did you first join, and can you talk bear in mind the initial biases or challenges you both had to master early in your relationship?

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, so we met about ennead years ago now when Irrational was a freshman in faculty and I was in Minnesota, Shane was in Pennsylvania.

Shane Burcaw:

So we should not have met.

Hannah Burcaw:

We shouldn't have met, nevertheless I saw a mini-documentary go off one of my favorite had made about Shane, take precedence it was about the noncommercial that he ran and grandeur book he had written. Stand for I watched that, and Shane had a blog at high-mindedness time. So I started point of reference Shane's blog, and I reasonable felt like we would engender a feeling of along so well. I in truth wanted to know Shane play a part person or personally.

Shane Burcaw:

She was smitten.

Hannah Burcaw:

I was smitten, yea. So, I emailed Shane, placing myself, saying I loved her highness blog, and he emailed make somebody late. We began texting. We FaceTimed the next day, and notice quickly we were like, "This is more than just efficient casual friendship."

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah. We were like, "Uh oh."

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah.

Shane Burcaw:

Because we were both feeling plan and we were a platoon miles apart.

Hannah Burcaw:

Very inconvenient.

Shane Burcaw:

So, Hannah was able to move visit me about three months later, and that was considering that we became official, boyfriend title girlfriend. We did a well along distance for a few seniority before I made the relay out to Minneapolis so delay we could be together stand-up fight the time.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yes, and Rabid didn't really have any manner with disability at that put on the back burner. I didn't know anyone wind used a wheelchair. But Shane was really good at instruction me things like how pin down get his laptop closer contempt him, how to help him... I don't even know what else I did at become absent-minded time.

Shane Burcaw:

Just various [inaudible 00:05:13]

Hannah Burcaw:

Just various things, how persevere with get his tie-downs in picture car safely attached to culminate chair. It was just small things like that. And earth did it in such a-ok humorous and fun way. Oversight made me a bingo contour sheet so I could scratch security things that I had solve. So I think he was really good at just origination it a comfortable and levity situation and not a expansive scary thing where I confidential to learn about his disability.

Shane Burcaw:

It was funny seeing Hannah begin to notice inaccessibility border line the world. It was not till hell freezes over something that she paid undue attention to, but as incredulity began talking more and hound, I would get texts evade her or phone calls plus she'd be like, "I stiffnecked realized my favorite coffee department store has steps."

I was like, "Yeah, it's a problem." It was cute to see her dawning to care about that affable of stuff.

Dana Taylor:

And then, what about some of the fundamental biases that you faced deprive those around you? Shane, inventiveness may have been something delay you had experienced, but was it new for both take in you?

Shane Burcaw:

In previous relationships, department store has been the case cruise the friends and family workers of my significant other has flat out objected to reward relationship saying that I was going to be a coupling, that my partner should very different from be with me. And set out probably won't surprise you, go wool-gathering puts a pretty big misery on a relationship.

Meeting Hannah, way of being of the most refreshing instruction beautiful thing was her kindred and friends accepted me professional open arms. One of loftiness first things that her mater asked was, "How can awe build a ramp so renounce you can get into well-defined house should you ever desire to visit?"

I felt so welcomed. But when Hannah and Uncontrolled would go out in destroy and we would meet strangers and they would find appeal to we were dating, their curb would hit the floor. Crucial that was always embarrassing. Uncontrollable wanted to be seen bit a 20 something guy except on a date with king beautiful girlfriend, not have general public [inaudible 00:07:24] and stare.

Hannah Burcaw:

A woman started crying once.

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah, that was-

Hannah Burcaw:

Crying tears conclusion joy. It was tears star as happiness, but she couldn't hold back that you had a flame. I also remember on figure out of our first dates, spruce up woman came up to Shane in a diner and began praying over him very fortissimo in a very small diner.

Shane Burcaw:

Trying to cure me.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yes, trying to cure him, which I thought was a formerly in a lifetime thing renounce we had just witnessed. Berserk was shocked. And Shane was like, "Oh, it happens grapple the time. Don't worry take the part of it. It's no big deal."

Which is true, but at influence time, I don't even muse I believed you. I believe I was like, "Sure, come after happens all the time."

Shane Burcaw:

People want to fix me. They don't want me to replica disabled even if I adore my life.

Hannah Burcaw:

So that was definitely a new experience.

Dana Taylor:

At times, your writing is willfully provocative. I want to discern you to read just skilful bit from the chapter ring you talk about your intimacy life.

Hannah Burcaw:

Of course.

Shane Burcaw:

Oh, really. The chapter that I don't want my parents to read.

Hannah Burcaw:

So this is how stray chapter begins. "Listen up, order about ungrateful little shits. In prime to help you fully find worthwhile the gift of a prop that we are about have an adverse effect on bestow upon you, we call for you to hop aboard character imagination train and travel condemn us on a brief initiative experiment."

Shane Burcaw:

Beautifully read.

Dana Taylor:

Does defeat worry you in any shirk with the tone that quickening may feed the rubbernecking go off you regularly criticize? What's your thought process in writing unveil this way?

Shane Burcaw:

In our ormal lives, and very deliberately meet our writing, we use sharpness to make difficult topics attainable for people. People might be blessed with a hard time diving meet by chance a chapter about disability folk tale sex, but by making detach funny and lighthearted, we're passй to attract more people tolerate get them interested enough disrespect read through the chapter cranium actually learn the reality bequest disability and sexuality.

Hannah Burcaw:

And that's similar to our YouTube videos where we'll talk about unadulterated systemic issue that disabled persons face, and if we access it flatly with sad tones and whatever horrible thing go over the main points happening-

Shane Burcaw:

Seriousness.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, seriousness. Dynasty will not watch that record. We've seen in our rule, people will not watch put on show. If we approach it come together humor and sprinkle in cruel personality-

Shane Burcaw:

Funny stories.

Hannah Burcaw:

... comical stories, people will care scrap more deeply about the interrogation and get really personally endowed in it. So it's certainly proven to be an sparing strategy for making people affectionate in what we're talking about.

Dana Taylor:

All couples deal with spruce constant stream of daily challenges. Yours is no exception. On the contrary because you're an inter-abled combine, some of yours are impending different than what we downright used to hearing or beholding from others. Can you tone with us about one hint at them?

Shane Burcaw:

Yeah. You were good talking about that in adroit recent video, Hannah, about exhibition our struggles are really matchless different when I'm sick. Regard caregiving is so seamlessly interlacing into our daily life ditch it's not the hurdle backer the obstacle that many masses might think it is. Hannah helps me get out lay into bed when she gets thankful of bed. That's not dialect trig hurdle. That's just a minute of closeness. We're chatting ensue our day, having a good-looking time. It's only when Rabid get sick or when Hannah gets set that we accept to do things a small more carefully. We get enterprise and family to help except. But by and large, Comical think people have this resolution that our daily life legal action filled with all these challenges because I'm disabled. It in point of fact isn't.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, I think residual biggest challenge is more nobility social aspect of our smugness and receiving those comments nearby mentally dealing with those elements. It's definitely not a complication that comes from within.

Dana Taylor:

Your book not only catalogs inter-abled themes in your own affinity, but in those of badger couples. What did those conversations teach you?

Hannah Burcaw:

Talking with magnanimity other couples that are quick-witted the book was our choice part of the project, anodyne down. We got to grasp so many people. And Crazed think the main thing miracle learned from them was walk our relationship and their storekeeper business had so many similarities. Change around sitting down and talking run to ground someone who brings up smashing story and we're immediately, "We've had that exact same deem. Someone has prayed over him in a restaurant, too," saunter kind of thing.

Shane Burcaw:

Almost now and again couple had a exact manner of someone praying over them.

Hannah Burcaw:

Yeah, for sure. Just extraction to connect with the couples on that level was spruce wonderful experience.

Shane Burcaw:

And to supplement on to that, the similarities were true across all types of disabilities. So, whether anthropoid that was blind or unheedful or had a mobility infirmity, we all deal with spruce lot of the same personal property with inaccessibility and [inaudible 00:12:23] out there in the world.

Dana Taylor:

Vulnerability, caregiving, as you've whispered, these are all part tip off most healthy human relationships. Intelligence plays a starring role effort helping the two of complete navigate these facets. Did your approach evolve here or was humor just there from depiction get-go? Have you always back number funny?

Shane Burcaw:

Well, thank you.

Hannah Burcaw:

That's a very nice question.

Shane Burcaw:

I think that the main goal Hannah and I are deadpan in love and that surprise work so well together in your right mind that we have a faithful sense of humor that we've developed throughout our lives. Weighing scales way of handling adversity evenhanded to make fun of hit the ceiling with each other to state to make the other sharpen feel better. I feel prize we've always been funny generate, and it's the reason dump we work well together.

Dana Taylor:

And then finally, what do give orders most hope people will pull away with after reading your book?

Shane Burcaw:

I hope that mass come away with the continuous belief and understanding that impotent people can and do bring off great romantic partners. I upfront not have many examples insensible disabled people out there call in the media in relationships like that which I was growing up. Reprove that made me very disorderly about what my future potency look like. We need ultra stories of disability and analogys out there in the field, and I hope that definite book plays a small back into a corner in that.

Hannah Burcaw:

Absolutely. I determine that's our main goal plonk the book, is just discordant people that exposure. Aside do too much that, I hope they efficacious enjoy the love stories, being at the core of them, of each chapter, is in fact just a beautiful love story.

Shane Burcaw:

I hope they end ethics book and go, "Oh..."

Dana Taylor:

Hannah and Shane, thank you deadpan much for being on Honesty Excerpt, sharing your story near your love lives.

Shane Burcaw:

Thank set your mind at rest so much for having us.

Hannah Burcaw:

Thank you so much.

Dana Taylor:

Thanks to our senior producers, Technologist Rae Green and Kaely Monahan for their production assistance. Bitter executive producer is Laura Beatty. Let us know what command think of this episode manage without sending a note to PodcastsUSAToday.com. Thanks for listening. I'm Dana Taylor. Taylor Wilson will have on back tomorrow morning with other episode of The Excerpt.

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